...

幸福的人,
是因为能看到对方开心的笑容.

firstly,
A VERY HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY CHEN PAPA,
MY BELOVED PAPA.
i love him so much can.
thou i got no courage to tell him face to face,
but deep dow in my heart i really do love him loads.
many hugs for him.

ok,
this post will be a super long post.
read it if you want.
most of them are my feelings den.

firstly,
im sorry tt i left w/o a word,
and not letting anyone know.

im back from e short mia-ing alr.
partly because its my chen papa and fun's bdae celebration.
how can i miss out this two celebration.
and e other reason is because i miss everyone super loads.

i made a trip back to msia.
stay over with my grandma and co.
was sick during e first few days.
everyone treated me like a little princess thr.
i have everything ready for me.
food prepared nicely for me when i wake up,
favourite food nicely done for me,
loads of tonic soup for me to build up my health,
and i get what i want thr.
i super love my grandma,
and e maid who has been doing everything for me.
now i kinda became lazier than before.

every night before i slp,
i got goodnight kiss-es and hugs from boyboy and meimei.
they are simply too cute tt i couldnt resist.
im too used to their voices ard e hse alr,
till im kinda not used to e quiet hse now.

i didnt go anywhr,
stayed at grandma hse and watched vcd most of e time,
except wed,
i made a trip to caiyi gugu's shop for facial and a short shopping for fun's pressie on my own.


i couldnt resist e temptation to come online thr.
but yet i know,
if i were to come online,
i will miss everyone loads.
i will have e urge to come back.
but still,
i came online after tahan-ing for 2 days.
saw those msg-es my beloved friends left for me.
im really glad.
at least i know im not alone in this world.
im loved by them.
i really do miss them after seeing those msg-es,
and a very strong urge to fly back and see them.
but i told myself,
i have to control myself,
i haven succeed in doing what i wanna do.

called some of them,
and im super glad to hear their voices.
im very sorry towards them.
i know some of them are angry with me,
and some are worried.
very sorry i made you guys worry for me.


through this 5 days,
i quieten down alot,
trying my best to find back what i wanna find back,
im happy thr,
at least with boyboy and meimei cheering me up with their smiles and innocence.
how i wish i could go back to e past when i was just a kid like them,
and all i do was run ard, play and with no worries of e outside world.

但是,
安静的心,
永远都会被黑暗破灭.
lying on bed,
i always took a hard time trying to fall aslp.
many things will start to circulate my mind.
asking me to find back e past,
blaming me for many stuff.
and while drifting to dreamland,
i always dream of e same ppl.

i wasnt really prepared to come back actually.
because i haven really find back e old self.
yes,
maybe to some of you,
you might not understand why did i choose to leave.
probably because i chose to keep quiet on many stuff.

i wasnt running away from e reality.
i was just trying to look back and be happy,
back to e old jocelyn,
who will entertain everyone,
cheer them up,
and tell them her pi li pa la sentence - "人生很短暂, 何必每天过得那么不开心."

although,
i didnt succeed in doing so,
but i must have confident i can find it back here with everyone's help.
and i really do hope so.

请你们不要怪我不告而别,
也请你们不要怪我什么都不说出来.
只要对我说,
"i believe you can do it",
我就很开心,
很感激了.

------------------------------------------------------------------

chen papa came to fetch me early on fri morning.
was so tired den.
grandma cook mian xian for chen papa to eat as it was chen papa's bdae.
it wasnt my bdae but yet i also get to eat.
=X

switch on my phone which was hibernating as i mia as soon as i reach spore,
and received alot of concern msg-es.
thank you guys.
but on e other hand,
i was still a little disappointed,
for god-knows-why reason.

reach home,
watched a little vcd,
and i took a nap.

woke up,
prepared and headed to vista to have dinner with my chen family.
ordered loads of super nice food.
i hope chen papa enjoyed himself with our accompany and all those nice nice food.

next i headed to fun's steamboat at resident corner.
not many ppl know im back as i wanted to give them a little surprise.
was nice seeing them once again.
but probably w/o seeing and talking to them for 5 days,
i felt kinda weird ard them,
trying a little hard to find smth common to talk bout like before.

stayed and slack for awhile,
and back home to rest.
hope fun have an enjoyable night with us.
clevage clevage! (:


gonna enrol for my basic theory tml.
and meet up with mrgohjianchong after tt.

i need a job badly now to kill time.
i wanna work work and work.


now tt im back,
what i really felt like doing is to give everyone a little hug,
to show how much i really love them.
im touched by those love showered on me.
thank you my friends.